I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
