I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
