did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
