You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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