eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize