you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
