and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I love you. Go after that dick
My life is pants optional.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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