Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
