Banned from zoo.
Again?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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