Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
