Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
