You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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