I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
