Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
she looked like the before picture.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
