My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
