i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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