all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
i've created a new STD.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
