Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
