i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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