found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
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