no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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