Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
