That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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