A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
