you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize