Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize