Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize