you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
