i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
