I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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