Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
