So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
