I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
tell me about the fingering
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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