I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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