he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
