why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
