Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
