Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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