I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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