A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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