discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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