Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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