Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
