she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
