okay pat passed out under dana's car
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
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