i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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