she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize