i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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