My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
