Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
