Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize