Well apparently he's into motor boating.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
