While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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