I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
