she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
