so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize