did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
