i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
