You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
