are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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