Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize