I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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